When I’m starstruck, I usually just can’t think about things like taking pictures or making recordings, but I did record most of the audio of the event (minus the first 10 minutes or so). Download and enjoy:

Tina Fey at Union Square Barnes and Noble – Audio – April 8, 2011

It was a thrill to be in her whip-smart yet adorable presence. When I went up to get my book signed, I was shaking and giddy.

She is cute and tiny in person, and her big brown eyes are warm and lovely. (Sorry; they didn’t let us take photos close up, and at that point I really was way too starstruck to sneak one — but @Girlports snagged a shot of Tina’s bi-curious shoes.)

I will say, however, that it was very obvious that Tina would have preferred to have been just about anywhere else. She’s made it clear that she thinks of herself as a writer first and a performer second, and that’s the vibe she gives off: “They’re making me do this. Please just go read the book.” That writer-ly shyness is one of the many things I love about her.

And you really should just go read the book! It’s a fantastic read, full of gems and insight and hilarity. Just like Tina Fey herself.

I’m an Anglophile from waaaaaaay back, but I didn’t have high hopes for a show that claimed to be any kind of answer to The L Word. I’m sure you know this by now, but I’ll say it anyway: I have a strong — passionate, even — love/hate relationship with The L Word. I wanted it to be everything. It was barely anything.

So imagine my surprise, then, when Lip Service turned out to be not just good, but actually satisfying. Who woulda thought?!

It’s partly the setting: pretty, gritty Glasgow. What don’t you have? The people, the sunset, the buildings, the workaday yet wondrous way of life: you’re it. Of course I love your accent, but it’s your attitude that really gets me.

Your attitude is Cat’s. She’s practical, neurotic, sexy, selfish, insecure, competent, adorable, maddening. She’s everywoman in the way that Bette Porter is, with one exception: we can get to her. She’s not unattainable or perfect or out there in any way. She’s right here, brows furrowed, mouth slightly agape, heart open. Present. Steadfast. Yours. Almost.

And that spills over into all of Lip Service, which doesn’t apologize or explain or speechify — because it’s focused on just being. You know how The L Word was about lesbians? Well, let that go and put your arms around something better: Lip Service is beyond that by nature. It’s too busy showcasing lesbians to be about them. It’s too busy being gay to talk about being gay.

For me, that all comes down to one specific gay lady: DS Sam Murray, played by Heather Peace.

What is it about her? I’m not actually asking, because I think I know: she’s the one we recognize. She’s the one we see walking down the street — make that sauntering or strutting — and when we see her, we exhale. We smile, we stop in our tracks, and we say, "Oh, yes."

Heather Peace is a recognizable (soft) butch, and that makes all the difference. Lip Service still gives us the quirky fun one (Dana/Tess), the buttoned-up one (Bette/Cat), the tough broken one (Shane/Frankie). But Shane/Frankie is not the true butch: that’s Sam, and as a bonus, we get Tess’s fully butch neighbor, the "spark" who rivals Corky in Bound. Taken together, she and Sam are what we were missing in Chaiken-land.

In a mere five episodes (oh god I can’t believe it’s almost over), Lip Service has done more for butch lesbians than The L Word did in five seasons. And more for all of us, worldwide, accents aside.

Nobody would dream of playing fast and loose with DS Sam Murray’s sexuality the way Ilene Chaiken played with Alice Pieszecki’s very nature. And why is that? Because Sam — and Lip Service itself — is really, truly gay, and that’s really, truly hot.

(You) rule, Britannia: we humble colonists thank you, and some of us are fully sorry we ever left.

When Lip Service ends, I’ll be lost again, and all the worse for having had a glimpse of what the truly gay ladies can be. Come back, hot cop!

(Click for the giant version, which may make you hyperventilate)

I mean … wow.

Mitchell has been doing a lot of press for V, which starts Nov. 3. She’s been saying some delightful things, too.

In Entertainment Weekly (Nov. 6):

[Kissing Angelina Jolie in Gia was] pillowy and fabulous. Honestly, you got lost in her lips. It was almost overwhelming, like a peach.

I cried for a couple of days [when Juliet died on Lost]. Evangeline Lilly and my sister came over and we drank until we fell asleep on the couch, which was not good, because none of us are big drinkers. We woke up and said, “Let’s do ice cream next time, okay?”

I’m a dork and a nerd.

In Time Out New York (Oct. 29–Nov. 4):

I’d compare Erica [her character in V] to Athena and Hera, because she’s both the mother and the warrior. Back in popular fiction, she’s like Sarah Connor in The Terminator a lot. And of course you’ve gotta have a little Ripley in there.

Every time I think I couldn’t possibly love her more, she shatters my expectations. She is somehow both ethereal and earthy. And she calls herself a nerd?! My head is spinning; I really do need to sit down.

I still think it’s a pretty good holiday as holidays go, but the ratio of drunken stupidity to fun spookiness is not so lovable sometimes. So when something kooky or bizarre comes along — without all the sinister mischief — I’m glad.

At first I thought this was going to fit the "kooky and fun" bill. But then it started to scare me. This morning on the Today show, Wanda Sykes stopped by to talk to Hoda and Kathie Lee.

Um, I mean, Elmo stopped by to talk to Yoda and C-3PO.

Where to begin? That’s more awkwardness than I know what to do with. The costumes are ridiculous, unless you think of them as costumes for Opposite Day. Goofy, off-the-rails Kathie Lee is a snooty robot, and down-to-earth, statuesque Hoda is a mystical midget. Shrug. At least Wanda just wanted to be Elmo because she thought the costume would keep her warm.

And then there’s awkwardness around the gay stuff. Kathie Lee isn’t quite sure what to call Wanda’s better half. She stammers, "well, you call her your wife!" Yeah, she does. Maybe someday the law will call her that too.

Wanda herself is awesome, of course, so there’s that. But (as Wanda says) the whole thing is just so weird.

Sigh. I think I need a popcorn ball. And maybe I need to watch Wanda’s HBO special again. I’ll definitely be tuning in for her new talk show.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Keep an eye on your drinks, ladies, because in Whoopi’s world, the right dose of rohypnol will leave you just conscious enough to have deserved it.

(full post here)

Um, no, I don’t think Whoopi would agree with that statement. But in her inelegant attempts to clarify the legal issues, she did seem to be muddling the moral issues. Here’s the relevant clip:

Troubling, to say the least. Still, I think Tommy Christopher at Mediaite goes too far when he says "some of the View crew" think that what Polanski did was "OK." (Christopher also needed an editor to correct the "plead" that should be "pleaded" and the "poo-poo" that should be "pooh-pooh," but then Mediaite.com isn’t exactly known for stellar prose.)

I do agree that it’s upsetting that so many people seem to want to give Polanski a break. What he did was disgusting, wrong, and — above all — criminal. You did the crime, you do the time, right? I don’t think that saying usually ends with "unless you manage to skip the country and make a lot of movies." As usual, Jezebel says it best:

… none of the ladies [of The View] tried to justify Polanski’s actions with the "defense" that he’s a genius artist who made groundbreaking movies and should therefore be immune to punishment. Because make no mistake: those people are flat-out saying they would refuse to give up a few good movies to prevent the rape of a child. Whoopi may have been wrong today, but at least she wasn’t that wrong.

Right on.

But about that clip, on an entirely different note: did you notice that Melissa Gilbert was the guest host? Isn’t it amazing to see Half Pint so very grown up? It’s as if Laura Ingalls has somehow stumbled into the 21st century, and I just can’t make sense of it. Where are your pigtails, Half Pint?!

In conclusion, The View continues to befuddle and bemuse me. But I’m looking forward to the premiere of Joy Behar’s new show tonight.

Joy, by the way, is on my fantasy dinner party guest list. She’d be great at keeping the conversation going. The other guests at my fantasy dinner party include the Clintons (Mr., Mrs., and daughter), John Waters, and Mary Murphy, but the latter isn’t allowed to come out of the kitchen until dessert — because you just know she’s going to be loud and soused.

How did I get from Roman Polanski to my fantasy dinner party? Hmm. He’s definitely not invited. And now I’m not so sure about Whoopi, either.